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May 13, 2004
I Busted A Chump
Often lately my trash talking seems to be drawing suckers into playing heads up $10/20 or $15/$30 hold’em with me. I have won every time with the exception of a couple very small hit and runs. Some people when they sit down at $15/$30 heads up are just trying to win $100 or $200, which is pretty easy to do. They will probably do that too, maybe as much as 1/2 of the time, but the one time they lose they will lose $1k or more so it is a winning proposition for me.
Yesterday my friend and I were playing in this tournament when we came across some douche bag named GoCavs. He was bragging about how good he was because he won $25k in a tournament. The funniest part about that is that about 10-20 people every week win that much on Party Poker, and 90% of them are clueless jackasses. Bigger Party tournaments have anywhere from 800 to 2000 people in them, maybe 5-10 of which are good, 20 or 30 are mediocre, and the rest are complete idiots.
Winning $25k in ring games on Party is an accomplishment, winning it in a tournament is not.
So we watched him and he was making one atrocious play after another. Of course we started railing on him (as we always do) and this guy just would not quit fighting back. John and I aren’t the 2 people you want to get in a battle of wits with either, especially when you have the IQ of a cheese grater like this guy did. Sure enough we put him on tilt and he was out of the tournament in short order. The whole time I was of course telling him that he sucks (which he did, badly) and how I would bust him if he would ever play me heads up.
So today I am talking to John and he tells me that GoCavs is at his table. So I go there just to rail on him, and after I have him really worked up I challenge him to the old $15/$30 heads up. Of course I have bruised his ego far too much by now to back down and he agreed to play me, but only at $10/$20. At first he said he was only going to play a half hour, which often would be more than enough for me to clean out his account but he had phenomenal luck, hitting one straight after another on the flop with me hitting top pair with an ace or better every time. So he actually managed to last 1.5 hrs before I cleaned out his $600, at which point he quit.
The funniest part about the whole thing is that it never occurred to him that I am far better at poker than he is. The reason for it is because I was trash talking him. Just about every well respected poker book says that pros treat their opponents well and don’t make fun of them because it makes them play better or just leave the table. First of all this is completely wrong on the internet for a list of reasons. First of all people don’t know how to play better. When you insult them they aren’t just going to magically turn into Doyle Brunson. Second bruising their ego makes them want to beat you more and therefore overplay hands even worse than they should. Third they very rarely leave because they want to prove to you that they are good. Fourth in the rare instances that they do leave (which is not even an option in tournaments) another idiot takes their place.
In the case of GoCavs my trash talking had the following effects.
1. It made him want to play me heads up to take my money.
2. It made him not even consider that I was actually a good player rather than just an egomaniac.
3. It Jedi Mind-Tricked him into playing 1 hour longer than he had wanted to so I could get all of his money.
4. Every time I made fun of how badly he played a hand he mentally noted that he played it perfectly. This made him continue to make the same atrocious plays. It is a perfect example of reverse psychology, you tell them that they are an idiot and you are much better than them and they believe the opposite.
I also had a very similar experience last week with some idiot named PISTOLGREEK. He was one of those idiots who types in all caps, says “u” instead of you, “ur” instead of you’re. Any time you see somebody who types those shortcuts or in all caps you know they have the IQ of a cardboard box and should not hesitate to play them heads up.
All of the time I get people who tell me that I shouldn’t trash talk because they read it in a book somewhere. I have made a few thousand alone this month just off of heads up with people who wanted to bust me because of trash talking. I think Doyle said in his book that people who trash talk are all talk, and while this is 99% true that other 1% can be fatal to your bankroll.
I think that even though I haven’t exactly been having much luck in tournaments and ring games in the last month I have been having more fun than ever. It seems a few times I week I get to smack down suckers who think they are better than they are. If somebody who was actually very good at heads up wanted to wreck me for a k or 2 all they would have to do is come sit at my table, speak with the English mastery of the average 8 year old, play badly for a little bit, act like they got offended at my trash talk, then play me heads up.
So the moral of today’s story is judge people’s poker skill by their play, not their talk. Just because they say they brag doesn’t mean they suck. It is highly likely that they do, but don’t go playing them heads up unless you are sure. But if their name is PISTOLGREEK or GoCavs then go ahead and whip them.
Posted by themaroon at May 13, 2004 8:03 AM
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Comments
One of the things I do to stay focused on the game is chip tricks. I have a clay set for home games and I just do them while I play. It doesn't really distract you from the game, and its better than surfing the web.
Posted by: Unremitting at May 20, 2004 2:30 AM