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July 12, 2004
For What Little Its Worth
Before I got on this here 737 to Vegas I used a new extension for Firefox called Spiderzilla to download every Card Player Issue to my hard drive, so I would have a little extra reading material for the trip. Normally when I read Card Player I skip at least half of the articles (ones by Roy Cooke, Max Shapiro, and other assorted clueless columnists and/or bad writers) but since I am on a plane and the movie is something awful (it has Denzel Washington in it so it must be atrocious) I decided to look through it. Actually Roy Cooke’s article in the issue with David Williams (who I met once long ago and got second in the WSOP main event this year for 3.5 million) on the cover was ok, though nothing anyone who has played for more than a year shouldn’t already know.
Then I came across an article by Vince Burgio. I normally would never waste the 1 minute of my life required to read his worthless drivel, but I hadn’t read anything in a long time and thought maybe he had something worthwhile to say for once. He didn’t. All this grumpy old man ever does is whine about things no reasonable human being would ever even care about. He is one of the few people in poker I would love to kick in the teeth more than Phil Hellmuth. If I ever run across him at a poker tournament (which I never see him at, does this ass even play?) I may just have a couple of friends hold him down while I urinate upon him. That would give him something worth whining about.
What jackass exec at Card Player green lighted this column anyway? Hmm, an old curmudgeon whining about people who do things like sit out for a round and then pick up their chips, or ask stupid questions. Yeah, we’ll print that. Maybe they were trying to tap into the lucrative “anal-retentive over 65” demographic. If I ran the paper he would be the first (of about 50%) of the authors there I would fire immediately. I would rather see more regurgitated Big Denny stories by poker’s foremost humor(less) commentator, Max “I've Told The Same Story In Every Column For 7 Years” Shapiro.
Vince’s column is called “For What Its Worth”. Trust me Vince, its worth less than 2 7 off suit preflop in a $20/$40 game when an old lady 3 bets the under the gun raiser. It is worth less than AAAA in limit Omaha 8 or better. For what its worth Vince shut the fuck up.
Posted by themaroon at July 12, 2004 5:20 AM
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